down to ‘lasts’

I’m now down to my last week, 6 days until my induction day.

I had my last midwife appointment yesterday where she asked them to check my bloods to see if I’m immune to chicken pox as our friends son has them, luckily I am immune! Otherwise they would of had to delay the induction.

I also had my last scan with the consultant today, I was really nervous this time as I’ve been feeling so anxious lately and panicking that something is going to go wrong, he rushed this scan which I was disappointed about, he was measuring the stomach and usually I can see the baby’s heartbeat whilst he is doing it but I saw nothing this time and baby didn’t seem to move during the scan so I started to panic, then all of sudden he said he was done! So i had to ask if the placenta flow was still good which reminded him he needed to do it… so he had forgotten then I asked if that was the heartbeat we could hear but it was the placenta so he checked the heartbeat then… so I felt better after that.

The baby is now weighing 7 lb 10oz! Estimated wet weight so he said it will probably be a little less at the birth which is fine by me!

The more ‘lasts’ I have the more nervous I get as it’s just as bad as counting Down!

The closer I get the more I have Flash backs of last time and the week leading up to having lucas… It scares me as nobody seems to either remember or be concerned still as it all went down bank around labour. All my family are telling me how excited they are and how they can not wait for a cuddle and I just feel the added pressure like it’s my body that will fail again..

What I try to tell myself is there are so many ‘what ifs’ that are going through my head but I’m forgetting a big one…. what if things don’t go wrong? What if the baby and delivery is fine all that stress and worry for nothing.. There was a saying I  use to try and tell myself .

5ab558390b333655ac7fe0670787a1fd

This quote is so true and I try to tell myself to relax and think positive all the time as worrying isn’t going to change anything.

Postive.mental.attitude.

I need me some of that!!

Rachael

X.x

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